[Part Three of the Britain Series]

A plastic fork just dropped down next to my seat. Do I have to tell the stewardess about it? Would doing this oblige me to pick it up?

That flight attendant looks like a girl I once knew—Is there a chance that they’re related? If so, does this count as a good icebreaker?

Why is this plane so damn cold?

Is it strange to be more than cordial with a stewardess? Do people really ever strike up friendships with these people?

Would it be possible that I’d have a chance if I made a move on her? Could the possibility still be considered when my living a million miles away factors in?

What about me being at least seven years her junior?

Returning from a tour of Britain, one thing I’ve noticed is that there are many, many smart, determined, and good-looking young women on the other side of the pond. What’s the deal?

Even if I were older, rich, and living in Europe, could I ever make a go at it with any of these amazing women? Corollary: Could I make it with any girl?

Am I a failure?

There is a baby crying behind me. Am I a horrible person for wanting to shove it in the overhead bin?

Would this be a good use of my energy?

I’m very tired and in need of some coffee: this airplane stuff really just doesn’t make the cut. Is there a Starbucks at the gate? ◆